Dis nie elke dag dat ‘n ou so ‘n handige stukkie advies so presies op die regte tyd kry nie. Die van julle wat see toe gaan, ek deel graag, since ek dit nie self gaan gebruik nie…

How to survive a shark attack

1: Don’t swim in the ocean.

Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally

Large bodies of water also known as oceans.

The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the

water, which should be salty.

2: Listen out for the music.

In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen

carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary

film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the “daah-da, daah-da”

chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer.

This is due to the Doppler Effect.

3: Swim with fat people.

Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions.

If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion

with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

4: Don`t go into the water without a knife.

This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy)

closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the

“decoy” is bleeding profusely…..swim for your freekin life.

And finaly…..

5: Don`t panic.

In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This

really won`t help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will

appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can

really spoil a wonderful day out!  Remember it’s not always about you …!

Geniet jou naweek, gaan groot of gaan huistoe!

Verlede naweek se earth-hour was soveel pret, ek doen dit sommer uit my eie weer more aand. Pikkie het hoeka so ‘n nice idee vir tydverdryf…